


Penguin Justice

by petals42_tumblr (rosepetals42)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fall Harvest Fic, Gift Fic, M/M, Protester Stiles, Zookeeper Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 16:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5134937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosepetals42/pseuds/petals42_tumblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“UNHAND THAT PENGUIN!”</p><p>The shout is loud enough that Derek freezes, although he does not actually “unhand” Ernie because Ernie had stepped on something sharp last night and his foot needed to be bandaged. And then he might need to be given a small dose of a sedative so that he can actually get some rest.</p><p>Away from the curious eyes of the nice people visiting the Beacon Hills Wildlife Sanctuary.</p><p>Particularly away from whoever is yelling at the top of their lungs around <em>wild animals</em>. </p><p> Or, an AU in which Derek is a zookeeper trying to keep his penguins healthy and Stiles is a protester trying to keep them happy... There is a bit of miscommunication.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penguin Justice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Patchcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patchcat/gifts).



> For  Patchcat, who wanted "something related to the phrase 'Unhand that penguin!'" I hope you enjoy this!!

“UNHAND THAT PENGUIN!”

The shout is loud enough that Derek freezes, although he does not actually “unhand” Ernie because Ernie had stepped on something sharp last night and his foot needed to be bandaged. And then he might need to be given a small dose of a sedative so that he can actually get some rest.

Away from the curious eyes of the nice people visiting the Beacon Hills Wildlife Sanctuary.

Particularly away from whoever is yelling at the top of their lungs around _wild animals_. 

And now rushing towards the enclosure. Yup, the young man - who must be in his early twenties, if Derek had to guess - is all but sprinting towards the penguin pen.

Derek watches as the dude trips over his own feet and nearly sprawls to the ground. It’s a little bit like watching the baby zebras try to walk for the first time. Except this kid should be able to walk on his own and is wearing a blue and orange striped shirt instead of black and white. Apparently, though, he’s used to almost falling because he appears unfazed as he slides up to the edge and shouts again:

“UNHAND THAT PENGUIN!”

Ernie shifts unhappily and Derek feels his temper rise. This idiot is _scaring_ an injured penguin, and doubtlessly the other birds as well. And probably half the other animals in the sanctuary with that level of volume.

“ _Sir,_ ” he growls, fighting to keep his voice level. He is the zookeeper. He has to remain calm so the animals don’t panic. “I am going to need you to _lower your voice_.”

He doesn’t normally see this as a good thing, but Erica and Boyd have told him often enough that he has murder eyes when he looks at other humans and in this moment, he’s hoping it’s enough to make this person back off.

“Never!” the kid says, shoving his fist in the air. Though he does quiet down a bit. Probably because he and Derek are now standing with less than ten feet in between then. “I won’t stand for this injustice!”

Oh god. This idiot is probably someone who watched the documentary “Blackfish” and now thinks that _all_ zoos and/or wildlife sanctuaries are as horrific as Seaworld. Even though Beacon Hills is a legally accredited nonprofit wildlife rehabilitation center that only keeps and houses animals that cannot be released back into the wild due to injury or because they have spent their whole lives in captivity and would not survive. 

For goodness’ sake, there isn’t even a charge to get into see the animals. Beacon Hills is _entirely_ run on donations. You cannot get any more non-profit than that.

For the record, Derek _loves_ that Blackfish was made and appreciates that steps are being taken to stop Seaworld, but this is ridiculous. He does not have the time to explain to every overzealous college student that there is literally no reason for them to be here. 

He doesn’t have the time and he certainly doesn’t have the patience. His primary goal in studying zoology in college was so that he could avoid talking to people at all costs.

Even people who have alarmingly amber eyes when seen up close. And a small scattering of moles. And are lips supposed to be that particular shade of pink?

“Look,” he says, blinking and frowning and considering the fact that maybe Erica’s assertion that he needs to get laid actually has some merit. “You’re wrong so just clear out, okay? Or go talk to Erica. She’ll set you straight.”

Erica will also probably kill him for pawning a would-be protestor onto her, but just a few days ago, he had walked in on her and Boyd having sex in the Visitor’s bathroom instead of cleaning it so she owes him. They both do. There are some things that your eyes can’t unsee.

“Set me _straight_?” the kid sounds scandalized. “How dare- I should record- this is a travesty! It’s the 21st century, dude!”

“Exactly,” Derek snaps. “So the internet exists. Do some research before you come barging in here.”

“The internet is how I found out about this!” the protester replies. “And I won’t stand for it!”

Derek blinks, a bit confused. Why would Isaac post about how Ernie had hurt his foot? Well, maybe he just wanted to warn visitors that half of the Penguin Power-couple of Beacon Hills would be gone for most of the day. 

This is why the Beacon Hills Wildlife Sanctuary website was a stupid idea. Derek doesn’t care if it increased donations to the park a crazy amount. It was simply not worth it, not if this is the type of people it attracted. 

“Stand for whatever you want,” Derek growls, unable to resist rolling his eyes and running a soothing hand over Ernie. “Just do it quietly so you don’t upset the animals.”

And then he turns and walks away. Ernie’s foot isn’t going to take care of itself. 

“Look, I couldn’t upset them more than you already are!” the guy calls after him. At least it’s a semi-whispered call this time. 

Whatever. Derek just hopes this guy will be gone by the time he has to head back out.

*^*^*^

He is not gone.

Nope, once Derek has wrapped Ernie’s foot and made sure he is safe and comfortable, he peeks his head out of the back room to see Annoying Protester still standing by the penguin pen.

No one else is there.

In part, that may be because it is still a bit early so not many people have arrived yet and the penguins are still just waking up.

Derek suspects it is more likely to be because this guy has scared all other sane patrons of the wildlife sanctuary away with his insane babbling.

“- I know, right!” he is saying into his phone, his tone equal parts scandalized and righteous. “The guy told me to go talk to someone who would _set me straight,_ Scott! As if I am the one who’s being completely ridiculous!”

There’s a beat of silence as the person on the other end of the line (Scott, presumably) answers and then Stiles is shaking his head.

“Absolutely not! I am not leaving until justice is restored! I will camp out here if I have to!”

Derek groans. He is still not sure what this guy is even protesting exactly (apparently, something to do with the penguins) but it is going to be a pain in Derek’s ass if he winds up having to call the police. A pain in his ass and then a slew of bad press for the sanctuary who will doubtless have to go on the defensive if this stupid protester starts spouting lies.

Hopefully, he will go away if people ignore him. College kids are always like that. They want the spotlight more than anything else.

“Scott, you are the best!” he says. “Don’t leave yet but I will let you know if I need backup.”

Ugh, that does not sound like this guy plans on leaving anytime soon. Maybe Derek can sneak around-

“I’m just waiting for this grumpy looking guy who carried Ernie away to show his face again! He’s going to regret it!”

Oh, hell.

Derek already regrets everything.

*^*^*^

Derek learns a few things about Stupid Protester over the course of the next few hours he spends not-really-but-sort-of hiding in the back of the penguin pen. 

He learns that the kid is unable to sit still for longer than five minutes. He is in constant motion - sitting and then standing, walking back and forth along the pen, tripping and then righting himself without thought in a way that’s almost graceful. Or it would be if he hadn’t been tripping over his own two feet in the first place.

Derek learns that the kid chews on his lip almost constantly and squints up at the sky when he’s thinking and apparently has a _novel_ to type out because he has not stopped texting since hanging up on his friend Scott. His fingers fly over the screen faster than Derek can ever hope to follow and someone must be texting back because the only time he pauses is when he looks at the screen and sort of chuckles at it. The next moment he’s back to typing. 

Derek also learns that he might have some kind of hand kink because the prostester has _not_ stopped texting on his phone since hanging up with his friend Scott and Derek can’t seem to stop staring at them, but that’s neither here nor there.

What is getting to be an issue is that it is creeping up on lunch time. And if it were just Derek who needed to eat, he would gladly skip a meal to avoid any and all human interaction with Mr. I Can’t Keep My Hands Out of My Own Hair And It Still Looks Oddly Attractive but Derek is in charge of feeding both Old Betsy, the sanctuary’s aging mountain lion and the Murner triplets (hyenas) and that simply cannot wait. 

So he check on Ernie one last time, puts on what he hopes is his best murder resting face, and walks out.

For a moment, he thinks that maybe he’s going to get away clean simply because the kid doesn’t look up from his phone.

He breathes a sigh of relief (and yes, it is relief, not disappointment) and then, right as he is exiting the pen at the side door-

“Hey, you!”

Derek sighs the other sigh this time. Disappointment, rather than relief.

He goes for ignoring the problem. Just keep walking...

“Hey!”

There’s a hand on his forearm and well, there’s no way to ignore that.

“Sir,” Derek mutters through clenched teeth. “How can I help you?”

There, look. He’s even following the guidelines their manager wrote out. Friendly. Helpful. Courteous.

“You- I-” the man seems to be so indignant that he can’t speak. “Don’t act like you don’t remember me!”

“I’m afraid there are a lot of guests at the sanctuary at this time,” Derek says, lying. “Do you need help finding something? Perhaps the exit?” 

And, yes, he also smirks a little because this is turning out to be unexpectedly fun. It turns out that Protester dude gets two spots of color high on his cheekbones when he’s angry.

“How dare- You can _help_ me by returning Ernie to his rightful location!” the man says, voice rising slightly. “You could also perhaps grow up and realize it is 2015! I cannot believe that this is even still an _issue_ , that you would risk the mental health of these birds just because-”

“Sir!” Derek interjects. He really does have no idea what he is talking about. No idea at all. And, dammit, Isaac needs to stop putting so much information on the website. No pre-warning people about injured birds anymore. 

Predictably, the man keeps talking over him.

“Don’t you ‘sir’ me. I refuse- _refuse_ \- to leave this zoo until justice is done!”

“The sanctuary closes at 5pm, _sir_ ,” Derek replies, leaning back slightly. The man’s hand motions are getting wilder. “You are welcome to stay until then.”

“Oh, you- you think I’m afraid to stay past 5pm. Hah! I’d like to see you _try_ to get me to leave. This is for Ernie! And the rights of all animals! RETURN ERNIE!”

The last part is a would-be battle cry that none of the surrounding onlookers pick up on.

Okay, this is just ridiculous.

“Look!” Derek says, letting his temper get the better of him for just a moment as he raises his voice to match the man opposite him. “I have _no idea_ what you are upset about, but if you think I’m risking the the health of one of my penguins just because _you_ want to gawk at him, you’re crazy.”

“Risking the _health_?” the man replies, voice going up in disbelief. “Is _that_ what you’re calling it? A _health risk_?”

“Of course it’s a health risk!” Derek tries. “Ernie needs proper rest! And he won’t get that if-”

He stops because the protester is not even pretending to listen to him.

“- and nevermind that these two birds have been together for almost four _years_ and have been perfectly happy. Wow. That is disgusting! Of all the bigoted, _homophobic_ things you could have said-”

Wait. What?

Derek blinks. 

“I just- god, I guess in the scheme of life it doesn’t really _matter_ ,” the kid is saying. “Like, there are bigger issues than penguin couples but Ernie and Bert are _iconic_ and you are just separating them for no reason other than human prejudice and I’m not going to stand for it! You can arrest me all you want but I am going to be here, every day, for _forever_ until you put them-”

“Wait,” Derek says, the pieces finally clicking into place. “Wait, no.”

“Your food court is a little overpriced but I will have food _delivered_. Scott said he would bring me some and- well my phone is almost dead but once I find an outlet, I’ll text him to come join me and-”

Derek is pretty sure that there is a very strict policy about not putting your hands on the visitors of the park, but he figures since this guy did it to him first, he can get away with it.

Also, it seems like the only way to get him to stop talking long enough for Derek to get a word in.

“Stop!” he says, grabbing the protester’s arm. “Buddy! You’re confused - ” He doesn’t let go and doesn’t give him time to say anything. “We are not separating Bert and Ernie!”

“When in the course of human events-- wait, what?”

“We are not separating Bert and Ernie,” Derek repeats and he should be annoyed - furious, even - that this kid has been so freaking _wrong_ this whole time but for some reason, he finds it more hilarious. “The reason Ernie is in the back is because he hurt his foot. And he and Bert still play together too much if they’re together. So we separated them _for a day_ to make sure that Ernie takes it easy.”

“You- they- Ernie is _injured_?”

“Sprained foot,” Derek repeats. “He’ll be back with Bert tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow-tomorrow. Like the day after this one.”

“Yes,” Derek says, realizing abruptly that his hand is still on this guy’s arm and that he should probably remove it. “As in less than twenty-four hours.”

Apparently, anger isn’t the only thing to cause those spots of red to appear high on this man’s cheekbones. Embarrassment does it as well. Derek watches as the color takes over his cheeks and then creeps down his neck.

“Oh, I- uh,” the would-be protester starts. “I’m- I read online that there was talk of separating them and then I saw you this morning and I- well, I suppose… I suppose that’s good.”

“Quite,” Derek says, not even bothering to hide his smirk. “So, is there anything _else_ I can help you with?”

“No,” the guy says, shaking his head almost frantically. “No, uh, I- I’m just going to go. Now. Goodbye. Forever.”

Derek is going to let him go - really he is, because he can think of no one more completely different from him than this young, passionate person and he is already well aware that he has the power to drive Derek absolutely _crazy_ but-

But then he sort of trips on his way out and catches himself and glances back, rubbing the back of his neck and blushing _more_ furiously and-

“Hey!” Derek calls. “If I threaten to separate them again, will you come back?”

The kid turns back to him, eyes squinting in concentration again and Derek watches as he puts it together and then his mouth drops open in surprise and-

“Well,” he says and it’s ridiculous how obsessed Derek is with his eyes already. “I’d have to. In the name of penguin justice.”

“Of course,” Derek says. “Penguin Justice.”

Now there's a cause he can get behind. 

End.


End file.
